


Succubi and Low Blood Sugar

by butch_fairy



Series: Ash vs. The Universe [2]
Category: Ash vs Evil Dead (TV), Evil Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Other, Succubi & Incubi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29137338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butch_fairy/pseuds/butch_fairy
Summary: After finding out the ‘secret weapon’ is a half demon, the gang try’s to figure out where to eat before Ash’s hypoglycemic ass murders everyone.
Relationships: Kelly Maxwell/Original Character(s)
Series: Ash vs. The Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012866





	Succubi and Low Blood Sugar

It took the gang a minute to shuffle up the stairs with the body of the unconscious…. Deadite? Demon?? Human??? Fuck if they knew. Pablo wasn't a huge fan of this idea, even though they supposedly were some kind of key weapon. He just figured that maybe bringing something that had just torn a deadite in half like a goddamn stick of gum into the car wasn't the most cautious move. Sure they had helped in defeating the deadite, but ultimately, why would they help Ash? If this thing was half deadite, or half fallen angel(?), wouldn't it be beneficial to have let the slaughter inside the warehouse commence? His mind ran wild, running through every worst case scenario possible. 

As they approached the surface, the early morning sun began to peep out from the horizon. After tying up the hands and feet of the half demon securely, Ash and Pablo tossed them haphazardly in the back seat. Their head struck the back passenger seat window with a  **cunk** . A low moan rumbled out of their chest but their eyes stayed shut. Kelly shot Ash and Pablo an exasperated look only to get two shrugs in return. 

"They won't be any help to us if they have BRAIN DAMAGE" she scolded, her head still pounding from the deafening music. Oh, and probably the drugs.

"Trust me, if they were a frequent raver, they already have it," Ash responded, jumping into the driver's seat. 

Kelly got the privilege of sitting in the back seat next to the stranger. As she slipped into the back of the car, she began to look over her dancing partner. In the harsh beams of the morning sun, she studied their heavily tattooed arms and legs. Even their feet were tattooed, their feet naked after their talons had shredded their boots. Under the splatters of blood on their skin, she noticed the raised skin of healed scars across their body. Their form seemed back to normal again, their hands and feet back to a pale peach color. Then, she noticed their exposed chest. A subconscious blush spread across her cheeks. Their shirt was in tatters, held together by a few strings. A round rosey nipple peeked out from the side of what remained of their shirt. Looking around feverishly, she grabbed a dirty shirt on the floor of the car and awkwardly pulled it over their head. Pulling it down around their tied hands, she placed their head gently back against the window. 

_ Something is better than nothing I guess  _ she thought to herself, collapsing in exhaustion against the seat. 

"Good job kids. Let's get going. Kelly, where to now?" Ash asked, feeling his stomach start to grumble. "Those drugs made me hungrier than a vegan at a Texas roadhouse." Kelly reached into her backpack, collecting the worn map from inside.

"There should be a commune a few hundred miles North of here."

"Excellent" Ash muttered, starting the car. "Hopefully I can get there before I pass out." 

"There's like….. tons of granola bars dude," Pablo insisted, turning around in the passenger seat to shoot Kelly a quick look. They both knew how… grouchy Ash could be when he didn't eat.

"I'm not eating that bird food shit" Ash hissed, stomping on the gas. "I need protein, I'm not a fuckin woodland pixie." Kelly and Pablo rolled their eyes, both huffing in silent frustration. 

_ This is going to be a long ride. _

The Delta bumped up and down the barely usable road, rocking Kelly and Pablo into a shallow sleep. The gang was about 100 miles into their expedition when their new hostage began to stir. Ash's eyes were fixed on the road when he heard movement in the backseat. His gaze darted to the rear view mirror. 

"Look who's finally awake," Ash said gruffly, watching the person struggle against their binds. His voice awoke Kelly. Rubbing her eyes, she straightened up and looked over at the figure next to her. Their eyes were dazed. An angry confusion began building in their chest as they felt the itchy rope tight against their wrists.

"Fuck" they groaned, wincing in pain as their head began to throb. "Who.. where am I?!" Their eyes darted feverishly from Ash to Kelly, to an unconscious Pablo. "Why am I tied up!?" Their head dropped as they stared down at the shirt Kelly had slipped over their head. A grimace crept onto their face. "And most importantly why am I wearing this crusty shirt!?" 

"Relax" Kelly replied coolly. "That's Ash, and over there is Pablo. We're good people."

"The rope is just for our safety. We didn't know how you would react to being kidnapped by random strangers, and after what we just witnessed in that basement we figured some insurance may be a good idea." Ash turned his eyes back to the road. 

"We're trying to defeat the Dark Ones. For good." Kelly explained. "And basically we um… were told there was a weapon that could help us and we found you, so we figured…"

"You figured you would tie up an unconscious stranger and ask for a favor!? To what, save humanity!? Are you fucking insane dude!?" The half-demon spit angrily, their voice loud enough to frighten Pablo awake. 

"We aren't asking for help." Ash said lowly, turning around in the driver's seat. His dark eyes flashed under his thick furrowed brow. 

"Listen here. I didn't want to have to babysit another evil half-deadite-demon-thing. I've already had to deal with one of those and trust me, you don't want to end up like her." The memory of Ruby made Pablo snicker. The stranger glared daggers at him, his grin disappearing immediately.

"You agree to help us, I dont cut you into a hundred little pieces right now." Ash finished coldly. Kelly grimaced at the comment.

_ Ash really IS hypoglycemic. Grouchy old fart. _

"What you did to the deadite… We've never seen anything like it. Plus," She said tenderly, a reassuring smile pulling at her lips, "You could've just let us die down there. There has to be a reason you helped us." Their angry gaze turned to her, softening as they met her eyes. The stranger was silent, dropping their head in clouded thought. 

"I'm not a goddamn hyena, you didn't have to tie me up," they finally responded, looking down at their shirt again. They met Kelly's gaze, who promptly shrugged.

"You.. um… your shirt was really torn…." She explained, feeling the warmth return to her cheeks.

The stranger sighed, reclining in the backseat.

"You can't defeat the Dark Ones, it's not possible. Take it from someone that's been around awhile."

"You're wrong." Pablo spoke up. "The Necronomicon states the chosen one can defeat them with the help of a half blood." The stranger raised a sharp eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the side of their lips. 

"The… chosen one…. Right." They glanced at Pablo. "The chosen one doesn't exist. If he did, we wouldn't be living in the 2nd layer of hell right now. It was in the Necronomicon so that higher demons could deter lesser demons from attempting to use higher forms of magic. 'If you grow higher in power, the chosen one will eventually strike you down with the rest of the Dark Ones.' The chosen one is basically a children's cautionary fable for weak demons."

"Bullshit." Ash interrupted, glancing into the rearview mirror. "Listen here kiddo. I don't know who told you that crock of shit, but I'm realer than the cumstain on that shirt you're wearing." They furrowed their brow in disgust, staring down in horror at the large stain in the middle of the shirt. They lifted their eyes to meet Ash's in the mirror.

"You're telling me YOU'RE the chosen one?" Ash grabbed his sleeve and pulled it down, revealing the biomechanical hand that lay underneath. The halfling's eyes grew huge. 

"No shit. She lied about that too I guess." They grumbled. Kelly watched the stranger think, the gears in their brain visibly grinding. 

"Is it true you're also the one that started the apocalypse?" They asked curiously. Kelly was surprised at the monotony in their voice. Usually when someone asked if Ash had unleashed hell on earth, it ended with them putting a gun in his face. Ash made no response, simply grunting as his eyes locked on the road.

"Nice," the half demon grinned. Pablo and Kelly couldn't help but chuckle, earning an irritated look from Ash. The car fell silent for a moment before the halfling asked,

"So that would make  _ me _ the prophesied fallen one?" 

"Look who's putting the pieces together" Ash retorted. The stranger snickered skeptically. 

"You definitely have the wrong half demon here. I'm not some messiah's flaming sword of justice ok? I'm a low level reject of hell that likes to throw parties and listen to Europop."

"Well even if you aren't some integral part of a prophecy," Kelly interjected, "We're better off with your help than without it." Their eyes met hers, the striking green irises searching her for ulterior motives. Her big brown eyes comforted them silently. 

"So will you help us?" Kelly insisted, unable to hide the eager excitement in her voice. Pablo was surprised to hear a hint of joy in her tone. He hadn't heard this lightness in her voice in what felt like forever. Ash glanced at Kelly through the mirror, raising a curious eyebrow. The demon couldn't help but smile, sighing as they looked out the window.

"I mean, couldn't hurt to try to help. I still don't believe any of this prophecy stuff, but I don't have anything better to do. Especially since the fucking Deadites destroyed my rave….. I was really proud of that event." Kelly watched them pout, blowing another piece of bright red hair out of their face. 

"Excuse me, um, may I ask what you a- I mean,  _ who  _ you are?" Pablo asked eagerly, no longer able to hold his questions back. He was still hesitant to be working with this person. Call it paranoia or PTSD from being fucked over by Ruby one too many times. The half demon turned their gaze to him, eyes flashing.

"My name is Aureil." They answered, studying Pablo's face. "But I'm guessing what you're really asking is how I turned into a giant cryptid-esque monster."

"Took the words out of my mouth" Kelly yawned. Her voice was soothing and Aureil flashed her a small smile. 

"I'm the offspring of a succubus and a really horny human man who couldn't get laid in the mortal realm, so he basically had to sell his soul for pussy."

"You can do that?" Ash asked in disbelief. "All I ever got from summoning demons was the end of civilization and a fake hand." Kelly and Pablo shot a disgusted look at Ash.

"To be fair, the affair did end up in my father's limbs being severed, rearranged, and then sown back on so that his legs were connected to his shoulders. So you probably dodged a bullet." They responded matter-of-factly. 

"So if you're half evil, why did you help us?" Pablo pried. 

"Call me a softie, but I don't usually enjoy watching innocent people die. My flesh is still mortal. It's not saying much, but humans have done more for me than any demon has. Deadites and the Dark Ones aren't huge fans of halfling's, you know. We're bastard children that reap the benefits of ancient, dark power."

"So there's more people like you?" Kelly questioned. Aureil shrugged. "Not really. Most of the time, if the Dark Ones find out about a hybrid offspring they'll terminate it before it's born, along with the succubus carrying it. The only reason I survived was because my dad used his magical knowledge to hide her until I was born. After that, she took off and left me with him."

"Couldn't the Dark Ones still find you? I mean they're pretty good at sniffing us out," Kelly asked. 

"Before he banished me to the other side of the world after I was born, he branded a sigil on me that makes me pretty much invisible to other forms of evil, until I shift into uh, monster mode." They explained. "From a distance I smell and hold the aura of any other human." 

"That's why I couldn't pinpoint you immediately," Pablo said to himself, scratching his head. Reclining, Auriel glanced at the gang. 

"Anymore invasive questions about my life story?" They smiled sarcastically, batting their eyelashes at Pablo. Embarrassed, he turned around and glued his eyes to the road. 

"Oh and by the way, where are we driving to?" Aureil asked, their eyes turning to the window. They looked for anything to give them an idea where they were. Landmarks, piles of bodies, anything. 

"There's a commune North of here a few hundred more miles." Kelly explained, pulling the old map out and pointing to a small symbol at the top. "The Cyane commune. They should have rations for us, we can rest up there before we plan our next move." Aureil strained their neck to look at the map, studying it. 

"The Cyane commune doesn't exist anymore." They said bluntly. "They were slaughtered by something. Their community was burned to the ground, there's nothing left there." Pablo shot a nervous look at Ash, then at Aureil.

"How do you know?" Pablo responded. His voice was thick with doubt.

"Because I know people from the neighboring commune." Aureil peered back at him.

Kelly raised an eyebrow, glancing down at her map. 

"What neighboring commune? There's no mark on here for another commune within a thousand miles of Cyane." 

"Why do you think it's still around?" Aureil huffed, trying to shake their hands awake. "Its not on any map. They're the only self-sufficient commune that I know of left. They don't have to trade with other communities, so deadites don't find them." 

The car was silent for a moment before Ash barked, "Which way?" 

Aureil sighed in relief. "Its just 200 miles west of here. They have everything, weapons, food, even running water." Ash turned the car sharply, sending Aureil flying across the seat and directly towards Kelly. They landed backwards against Kelly's chest, almost knocking the wind out of her. Their head landed in her lap, her heart quickening as she stared down at them. Their hair stood up in chaotic tuffs, their skin stained with blood and filth. But, in a weird way, they were still

_ Ethereal.  _

Memories of the night before danced in her head. Was this sweet, lanky stranger who made her feel alive again really the same monster who had stolen her gun and jumped in front of a deadite for her? The pressure of their head on her lap evoked goosebumps on her arms as the ghost of their touch haunted her flesh. Aureil looked up at her, their eyes wide with surprise. Her brain was blank as she stared at the lips that had given her a vibrancy she didn't even realise she had lost. Their eyes locked, and for a moment Kelly felt like she was dancing again. The soft gaze in Aureil's eyes was quickly replaced with mild irritation as the rope cut deeper into their wrists. 

"Great." They grumbled, breaking the eye contact to scowl at Ash through the mirror. "Now that everythings arranged, will you  _ please _ untie my limbs and get this cum stained shirt off of me?" 


End file.
